Portland Redux

The Lovely Elise and I made a pilgrimage to Portland, otherwise known as Vegan Paradise. Among the hits:

• First day: we arrive late morning and drive to the Alberta 'hood. Elise gets to try one of my favorites for brunch: Tin Shed. We sit in the patio area, drinking orange juice and admiring the tattoos around us. Elise has the vegan How Latin, perfectly cooked tofu cubes with vegi sausage, avocado, salsa and veggies; my vegan Veggie Pesto is similar but has zucchini, yam, mushroom, melted garlic and a nice big dollop of - well - pesto. Sourdough toast and grits with vegan cheese round out our meal. Later, we stroll to my favorite cafe, Random Order. And while the soy lattes, made with Stumptown beans, are divine, the staff could not be less welcoming. Dude, they are baristas. Have some respect.
• We fall in love with 2 vegan bakeries on Alberta. The first is Back to Eden. Elise's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. Dear God, this place even has vegan soft-serve! Among our spoils are vegan chocolate; a chocolate macaroon; a ginger-cardamom muffin; a lavender snickerdoodle. We sit on a picnic bench nearby, sharing the cookie in the humid afternoon. Bliss. But we must still check out Dovetail Bakery down the street. If only we had any room left in our stomachs! This adorable cafe is filled with vintage furniture and a bakery case full of vegan goodies: cakes, cupcakes, muffins, cookies, sticky buns. The owner is a sweet young lady who's happy to chat with us. We beg her to move to San Francisco. Hey, it was worth a try.
  
• Later, a bit peckish, we drive to Mississippi Street in search of pizza. The obvious answer is Mississippi Pizza, where we share a small spinach salad and a Historic, very spicy red sauce topped with kalamata olives, artichoke, spinach, tomato and vegan cheese on a whole-wheat crust. We also get to watch the pizza guy throw dough around. This pleases us.
• We wander up the street and come to an odd little store with a window filled with antique water pistols. Out of nowhere, an older man appears and identifies himself as the collector. He then regales us with a long history of the water pistol, an item that's not worth much on E-Bay but cool nonetheless. Afterwards, he insists on treating us at Ruby Jewel, the local 'scream shop. Elise and I share a cone of peach-ginger nondairy deliciousness. Thank you, Water Pistol Man.
• Breakfast the next day: Jam on Hawthorne. The coffee is good. The chai-blueberry vegan pancakes are great...Elise loves her Southwestern tofu burrito, and even shares the red-pepper sauce so I can mix it into my scrambled eggs. Our young hip waiter is wearing a tee-shirt with a kissing Batman and Robin. Again, this pleases us.
• Back to Mississippi to shop; Elise scores a beautiful coat (say it with me: No Taxes!). I need a pick-me-up. We stop at Laughing Planet, where I have a bowl of rice, beans, veggies and killer tomatillo salsa. It is quite satisfying, although the presence of three cops trying to talk a guy into detox is a wee bit off-putting.
• Time to meet up with Elise's friend Mike and, finally, have a cocktail. Thus do we land back on Alberta at the Bye and Bye. I order the Stockholm, a tall pint of goodness: citrus-infused vodka, lemon juice and ginger beer. While not very hungry, I manage to steal food off of Elise's plate. She loves her some Southern fare and this is a good place to get it: her plate of barbeque tofu, vinegary greens and black-eyed peas is fantastic. My buddy Morgan joins us later and we pay him the respect due a Black Belt at our collective place of employment. BB in the hy-ouse!
• Last day, sadly. Mike has told us to visit the Red & Black Cafe, a worker-owned vegan collective. They have waffles! Well, yes they do, but radical waffles take a hell of a long time to arrive at one's table. Elise reminds me that I am imposing my capitalist expectations on the experience. Her waffle arrives and looks so, so good. Mine comes about half an hour later. It is plate-sized, crunchy with blue cornmeal, topped with walnuts and apples and Earth Balance. I pour on some syrup and eat like a starving animal.
• Around the corner is the Vegan Mini-Mall. We stop by Sweetpea Baking Co., admiring yet more mouth-watering vegan sweets; I purchase a soy latte for the road. Elise buys some groceries at Food Fight, too, where one can even purchase a vegan Twinkie. She sneakily gets me the pumpkin spice cookie I was fawning over (made by Monkey Wrench and delivered by bike, of course).
  
• Voodoo Doughnut. Right? Did you know they perform weddings? Well, there is one happening right when we arrive. A couple in black tees is slow-dancing by a cake stand filled with doughnuts. They get to jump over a broom while we wait in line. Elise buys a box of vegan doughnuts for a break-the-fast dinner in S.F. later that evening. And no, we didn't fast for Yom Kippur. So we can atone for that at some point.
  
• Before we leave, we must visit a food cart. If we don't, we will be arrested by the Foodie Police. Food carts are everywhere in Portland, but we decide to hit Alberta since it's near PDX. It's raining out, but this one little spot has a canopy covering its trucks and tables, plus some cute-looking trailers. Elise hits Fuego de Lotus, and thoroughly enjoys her corn arepa with cabbage salad and black beans. My salad from Mono Malo is a lovely mix of fresh-picked greens, heirloom tomato bits and crunchy roasted chickpeas with lemony vinaigrette. We eat and listen to rain drumming overhead. It's a nice way to end our trip to Veganlandia. Hipster Homeland, here we come.
  

Love Your (East Bay) Neighbor

Today, Kimster and I had a little adventure. We drove over to Oakland to visit our friend Ann and her adorable daughter, Lulu, in their charming Temescal/Rockridge neighborhood. Cute houses, yards, trees...Such a nice place to stroll through, en route to brunch. And oh, that brunch!
Had Kimster and I not pre-fueled at Ritual, we could have caffeinated at Remedy, which serves Ritual coffee in a cool vintage-furniture-laden space. But we did have a seriously yummy meal across the street at Aunt Mary's Cafe. Not too long of a wait, and the food - all as local and sustainable as possible - arrived quickly. My scramble was perfectly cooked and full of roasted tomatoes and Swiss chard, then dusted with Asiago. Of the many sides, I chose fresh fruit and wheat bread, which was thickly sliced and seemed homemade. Spread with blueberry preserves from a jar on the table, that toast was the answer to my carb-lovin' prayers. Ann and Kimster also were quite happy with their Southern Bubble and Squeak; the name alone makes me love Aunt Mary and her tattooed crew.
Down the street is the awe-inspiring Temescal Farmers' Market. Huge, with all sorts of produce, food stalls and even Blue Bottle coffee. Kimster and I bought a gingery limeade to share, and walked back to Ann's so Miss Lulu could nap. She even gave us each a sweet kiss goodbye. Oakland hospitality is a beautiful thing.

Zeroing In

Kimster and I tried a newish place on Folsom: Zero Zero (named for the type of flour they use). This is a snazzy little joint with comfy booths, a nice long bar on the left, and decent acoustics (not to mention some sultry Mazzy Star playing in the restroom). We tried four things, all getting way better than a zero rating: first, halibut crudo with tiny shavings of fried shallot and a splash of olive oil: so good but soooooo tiny! Four itty bitty pieces was kind of a tease. Next, an amazing salad of organic beets, ruby cubes mixed with farro, pistachio and sweet-sour saba. Then, a refreshing watermelon salad with feta and mint, so beautiful it almost shimmered on the plate. Finally, the Filetti pizza: perfectly blistered crust, melted mozzarella di bufala, cherry tomatoes and basil leaves. They will cut it in four or six slices, which is a nice option. Full as we were, we declined the choose-it-yourself soft-serve ice cream with toppings, but it's a cute idea. Aside from the teensy first course, I have zero complaints.

Oaktown Soul

The Lovely Elise and I intended to go to Encuentro for dinner. We got there, though, and the place was closed for 'vacation', which we suspect means went-to-burning-man, judging by the dates and all. We were sorely disappointed, yes. But nearby is Souley Vegan, so it wasn't a total washout.
Elise loves this place, and I can see why. It's funky, friendly, and has some good food at reasonable prices. We shared the Everything Plate, which had big pieces of chickeny-looking Southern Fried Tofu, barbecued tofu (loved the sauce), collards, sweet yams, black-eyed peas, mac and cheese (I think they used ziti for their pasta), cornbread, beans and rice and fried okra. We also tried peach cobbler for dessert, but it was a bit canned for my taste, especially in stone fruit season.
Not far away is the Layover, a cool bar with some specialty cocktails on a chalkboard, a comfy couch in back and, later, a DJ. My cucumber and gin drink was ever-so-refreshing and nicely kissed with lime. The early-20's dude who tried to flirt with me was not kissed but got a friendly good-bye when we left for the BART train.

Orange You Sweet

My friend Patrick mans the booth for Tomatero Farm at the new Mission Farmers' Market (Bartlett, between 21st/22nd). He made an amazing tomato table yesterday, all colors, shapes and sizes. I had a hard time choosing, but choose I did, because when heirloom season is here, you are foolish to not indulge.
I love the green zebras. And those dark red ones with green patches. But yesterday I had to buy a basket of the crazy-sweet orange cherry tomatoes. Is it their orange color that makes them so candylike? No idea. But I am popping them like happy pills.

A Gay Old Time

The Castro: a good place to people-watch, not always a foodie destination. However, there are some new places that merit a visit. Namely: Blackbird, a cool little bar that has absolutely delicious cocktails for a mere $8. The Charming Susan and I enjoyed a Negroni (her) and a Dutch Courage (me), the latter a fruity combo of bols genever, maple syrup, lemon and lime juices, frothed-up egg whites and bitters. Dear Lord! Tasting almost like pineapple, this drink had just the right sweetness and left a nice boozy after-breath. I also fancied our wee window table (see: people-watching) and the fossil-like surface of said table. The place gets loud, but the drinks are worth it.
Next, the Charming One and I traipsed up the street to Starbelly. My cohort had thoughtfully called ahead to reserve us a two-top, which is a good thing to do; the place can get crowded. We shared the Starbelly salad, lettuces with tiny cherry tomatoes, goat cheese and a puckery vinaigrette, and a Greekish salad of heirloom tomato, Japanese cucumber, olives and raw milk feta. As an entree, we ordered a pleasantly chewy margherita pizza; Susan's half was adorned with their house bacon. It was a perfect way to pass a Tuesday night: pizza and booze, Castro-style. Oh: if you're gay and male, you might find the waiters kind of tasty as well.